Where has this week gone? Not sure If I’d rather it was still Thursday

This morning as I showered, I had a 10 minute long debate with myself (not out loud you will be relieved to hear, just in my head) over whether or not it was Thursday or Friday. I was busy recalling conversations about the day before trying to place myself on the continuum of time. If I did have the power to decide, I’m not sure what I’d rather.

You might be thinking that Friday is the natural choice. It’s the last day of the week. And logically you are correct, of course. But I’ve been really busy at work and suddenly have a load more things on my to-do list that I wanted completed before stashing my laptop away for its weekend long snoozy time. Don’t get me wrong, actually, I’ve been super productive this week, but with just two and a half weeks to go till the date of a conference I’m organizing is upon me, things are starting to get a little rammed.

There is part of me that wishes today was Thursday, another day to get that invite email out to the Russians and Scandinavians – Friday is never a good day for these things, but I’m running out of options with the event nearly upon me.

But it is Friday and I just need to get on and embrace that the weekend starts tonight and crack on with my busy day ahead. So less waffling, time to hit the decks and get my little world of techie marketing in order.

First Toddler Bikes – Babe Gets Her First Wheels

Yesterday we got  babe her first bike. Being the impatient person that I am, I couldn’t wait until her 2^nd birthday in December. My rationale in persuading hubby to give it to her early, was that it is so close to Christmas, she would get more benefit from the bike now. It worked and he agreed, in truth is he is as much a ‘now’ person as me. Anyway, she’ll have presents from other people on her birthday (we hope).

Babe on her Islabikes Rothan balance bike

After much deliberation and extensive research by hubby (who is a true Jedi master when it comes to researching a new product, finding the best solution and sourcing the cheapest price) we opted for an Islabike Rothan – a balance bike to be precise.

Why a balance bike?
Also known as running bikes. By all accounts (well forum poster accounts that is), a balance bike is a much better starting point – safer than a bike with stabilizers, allows the kiddies to go faster and enables them to progress up to a proper bike quicker. If you check out all the YouTube videos on these (soo cute), then you’d be sold too.

Why Islabikes?
We wanted something sturdy and hardcore that could be passed onto a possible future bro or sis. We checked out the Specialized and Strider alternatives, which both look pretty fab too, but decided on the Islabike because it had a brake and seemed to be more substantial. I’m hoping to create a budding little mountain biker here. And we opted for no girly colours, sticking with the strictly neutral color of red.

What’s the babe verdict?
She seems genuinely happy and excited, but in all honesty - right now seems to be more taken with the helmet. It’s early days though…

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How much freedom do you give your children? When is it too much or too little?

This is something I ponder over now and again with babe (my toddler of 22 months), generally I’m all for giving her freedom to learn from her own mistakes.  But then sometimes I am afraid that I’m almost airing  on the side of irresponsible and then reign her back in.

Babe measuring sultanas

The truth is, I feel like I know my daughter well  and understand her capabilities and her knowledge of the world, and am therefore able to access pretty accurately the line between giving her freedom and being a totally irresponsible mother. I know some onlookers who don’t have this insight are judging me poorly, but I feel that its important for her learning to provide that freedom.

Babe kinda washing the dishes

I do feel bad sometimes when she has slipped over and banged her chin on one of those occasions of freedom time, but then that’s all part of the learning curve isn’t it? Learning consequences. I reference consequences  in a very managed way, we all learned not to put our hands into a flame by touching the hot pan on top of it by accident, not by thrusting our hands into the flame.

My own mother was great at giving my sister and I the freedom to learn from our own mistakes and I am very grateful for that – we were also able to have some amazing experiences that not every kid got to enjoy.

I am pleased to say, that I can already see the benefits. She’s the go-getting, no messing, always try new things, kinda of girl that I have been aspiring her to be. And I really don’t think she’d be like this if I molly coddled her all the time.

Babe making Danish Pastries

Sometimes the topic does come under debate with others. So I’m really keen to hear what your experiences and views are on this topic?

Knitting and nursing, new skills bourne out of necessity

Babe is definitely teething again at 22 months. Argh, when will it end? I’m not joking, when do the last teeth come through? Before I get into explaining my new knitting skill, let me put it in context…

As a result this weekend has had its ups and downs, because grizzle bum babe has been a bit of a sad sausage (maybe you watch Reggie Perin?).

Anyways, I thought it would be a breeze getting her off to sleep on Sunday night, as she had skipped afternoon nap, and was surviving on the 10 minutes snooze she’d got in the car.

A breeze - getting her to bed was like fighting a hurricane. She had the all-mightiest of tantrums and then alas at about 8.15pm she was in full doze-off mode. But she wasn’t going to let go of me…she was latched on for the duration. And every time I tried to slip off, she would stir and re-awake. Fortunately I’d brought my knitting to bed with me. After a little jostling around I’d cracked it. Yes, lying down and feeding babe, while knitting. With the freezing cold temperatures here, the pressure has been on to finish babe’s hat.

I am so proud, it is now done and fits a treat. Now I know it’s not the most dainty and attractive in the shape and styling, but I’d got my practical mama head-on when choosing the pattern. I’m thinking I might knit some nice flowers on or  something, to make it look a bit more girly and cutsie. Also yet to add the finishing touches like a  pom pom and the button for the chin strap.

Babe wearing the semi complete hat

After my recent heated debates with the pointy pair (knitting needles I’m referring to here), you’d think I’d be ready to snap them in half and hurl them into the recycling pile in a moment of cathartic therapy. But no, they caught me hook line and sinker. I want to knit another hat for babe.

Are you mad? I hear you cry…all you did was complain?!

Maybe I am a touch mad, but I want to create something a bit less pratical and more girly this time round. Also hoping that I might have got over MY teething problems, and am wistfully thinking that I might have got my brain into the right knitting gear.

Bring-it-on you pair! No back tracking for me this time.

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Not everyone should feel obligated to have kids

“Having children will be the making of you” 

“You’d be a great mother, you just need to give it a try”

For people who have made the conscious decision not to have kids these are the kinds of statements they hear all the time. And I can’t blame them for getting just a little pee’d off. Being a parent isn’t for everyone, and we shouldn’t all expect everyone to fall into line and get populating.

Under population hasn’t been an issue for some time now (it might be argued that having more children is economically good for growth), but come on, move on.

Having children has always seemed like a natural and fundamental part of life for me, but it’s not for everyone, and it’s unfair for other people to judge those who have made the choice not to have kids. In fact, I used to be one of those people who was pushy on the topic of having kids, saying the kind of things I said a minute ago. I realize now that I was out-of-order, who am I to judge other people’s choices?!

Again, this has been another example of me taking a 180 degree shift in an opinion on a topic since I’ve had kids. Maybe it’s the kid factor, or maybe it’s just that I’ve grown up a bit (just a tiny bit perhaps). On the other hand, I think I have just moved my judgments onto some other poor unsuspecting souls.

For some people, having children is ‘the making of them’. They find something that they truly love and are good at (I don’t mean that patronizingly). Maybe it’s made them grow up and be more responsible? Maybe they’ve just found something that WORKS for them.

But for some people, it’s a disaster waiting to happen. After all we are talking about bringing little people into the world and being totally responsible for them. It is life changing and for some, it’s not the kind of life change that they want or can cope with. There are enough unwanted kids out there, lets not go adding more onto the pile.

Take my big sister as an example, she is quite happy to be the best auntie in the world. But there is no way she wants kids of her own.

Auntie Barbs counting money with babe

Auntie Barbs entertaining babe

 

My view is, don’t make someone feel abnormal because they don’t want kids. It might NOT be ‘the making of them.’  Who are others to judge what each individual wants from life?

The love hate relationship with knitting

Argh, sometimes I wish I had never got back into knitting; that terrible pointy pair infuriate me! Deep down, I know it’s not them, it’s me – I don’t understand them properly and I make them do bad things, then I’m the one who’s complaining them they gone off track and I’ve got to undo a week’s worth of knitting.

Then other times I’m totally into them, when things are going well and I haven’t misinterpreted the pattern. During those moments, we enjoy fantastic chill-out relaxation time together.

This latest project, knitting babe a flappy ear hat, has re-affirmed to me why knitting baby bootees was so agreeable to me. They are small and don’t take much time, and if you go wrong, you haven’t got too many stitches to undo to get back on-track.

This last week or so, I have had to undo hundreds of stitches because I misinterpreted the pattern the first time around. I’m sure I would have finished this blasted thing by now if it hadn’t been for that.

Unfinished business

And all the time the weather is getting colder and colder and soon I’ll be put in the ‘bad mother pile’ for letting her young child go out without a hat. It’s a good job I have had this pressure to get the job done, or else we might have gone our separate ways by now.

You might think to yourself, why doesn’t she just go out a buy a hat? Well that’s not an option in my mind, it’s a pride thing you see, and I couldn’t bear the thought of having given up and every time we went out in the cold, getting my nose rubbed in my failure.

The one good thing I can say is that I’m past the tricky bits – although that doesn’t seem to be where I’m going wrong. It’s on the long straight bits that I don’t seem to be paying so much attention. I’m hoping to have this cursed hat completed within the next couple of weeks, child early night permitting.

Does anyone else have this relationship with knitting? Or is it just because I am a totally rubbish knitter? It’s OK, I know I’m not very good…but it would be nice to know if other people feel the same way.

Twitter is my new round-the-clock mama advice line

Image via Wikipedia

When creating this blog I also signed-up for a twitter account with the primary objective of getting more people to drop by and have a read (boost the traffic). Now no-one is going to get run over by the mass of traffic driving by, but it has still provided a nice steady flow of other mama’s out there curious by my random blog titles.

But I do confess I’ve discovered that it can offer so much more. It’s become a round the clock advice line and sometimes helped me keep sane during those crazy nights when babe wakes up and hasn’t wanted to go back to sleep for four hours.

Last week, an American Magazine (I think it was called Mothering Magazine) was hosting a twitter event about babywearing at 2am in the morning. Coincidently I was up with babe, trying to get her mellowed-out and back to sleep. It was great to be able to join in the chatter to keep my mind off the frustration of the wide-awake child insistent on time and time again emptying my bedside cabinet drawers and then filling them back up.

With child behavior and medical problems I’ve got an army of like-minded mothers out there ready to impart their advice on what they think the issue I’ve tweeted about might be. The mother tweeting army is invariably quite busy doing her own thing, dealing with her own challenges, so I won’t get a mass of responses, but usually one or two – enough to banish my anxieties and get me back on track. *Thank you to the tweeting mother army for your comments and feedback*

It’s also helped me find mamas that I relate to. Being relatively isolated by working from home and not always having the most main-stream attitudes towards parenting, makes it all the more useful.

The other great thing is that lots of interesting blog posts and stories feed into one place. Again, super useful for getting answers to my problems without having to trawl through the gazillion parenting advice forums out there.  And its QUICK, responses come flying back within minutes – not days.

So, I confess, I am twitter convert. Are you?

Tree Hugging Toddler Cuteness

Yesterday we took babe to the Forest, they have a wonderful discovery trail for children with all kinds of random wooden giant musical instruments, statues and dens etc; to capture the kid in anyone. No one can resist beating the hell out of the giant wooden glockenspiel as they meander past. You can hear it crying out, “beat me, beat me…you know you want to”. 

Before this post goes all awry, let me get it back on the tree hugging track that I was trying to lead you down.

Babe in the hide-out

Babe was getting into the spirit of things; I can’t recall the amount of times she fell over from running too fast on the hazardous tree rooty terrain. To start with she would dust herself off and get on with things, like the hardy child that I’m encouraging her to be. But after the umpteenth fall, it was getting a little much for her and a cuddle from mummy and a get-better kiss from daddy were called for.

At this point, I figured it was time to introduce her to the joys of tree hugging. We did it initially to break her out of a little tizzy and then as every parent of a toddler knows, she continued to spread the love throughout the forest. Adorable.

This morning, I got up early and it was dark and cold in the house. I wish I had a tree in the garden to go and cheer me up and take me out of my ‘Monday morning, don’t want to get up and work tizzy’. Well not the garden, that would meaning venturing out into the cold, but the theory sounds good.

So no doubt this morning, on the way to the childminders, we are going to have to keep a watch-out for those needy trees. “Hug me, hug me, you know you want too.”

Life is good for the work-at-home attachement parenting mama

Image by piyushthacker via Flickr

It occurred to me the other day, that my entries in this blog might make me come across like a bit of a miserable old goat. But I’m quite the contrary.

The truth is, day-to-day challenges in life make excellent writing material. I also have a hatred for blogs from people who are always banging on about how wonderful and sugar-coated their lives are – yuk (show me the bucket). It makes me a) jealous and b) distrust them (for some crazy reason).

But I need to put the record straight, I do actually have a pretty good life – its hard work, and sometime yes, it is a struggle striking the right balance – but isn’t that the case for almost every parent no mater what their circumstances are?

I work full-time from home which makes it workable
That’s not four days a week, its five (all about getting in the right routine and getting up early) but it means I can continue my career and keep the liquidity situation looking semi rosy  (and I can justify buying myself the odd nice thing). At the same time, I work from home and have some flexibility in my hours. All this means I get extra time with my daughter and keeps the childcare costs down a wee bit. It’s that morning hour between 9am and 10am that we have most fun, baking, crafting and generally trashing the house.

I embrace attachment parenting: co-sleeping, baby wearing, breastfeeding…which redresses the balance
This gives me plenty of special time with my daughter, compensating for not being with her all the time. I prove that you can practice attachment parenting and work full-time. If you’re employer gives you the flexibility then it makes it easier, but I’m sure it could still be done if you had to travel and 9-5 in the office. I am still breastfeeding babe and plan to continue doing so until she decides, which allows me to continue giving her the best immunity boosting juice out and provide extra security and closeness that she might miss from me spending time away from her working.

There are lots of other great things in my life, like having a wonderful hubby, a very supportive family and some fab friends – thanks to you all. Particularly hubby for putting up with living with me, and putting up with those grumpy goat moments.

That’s it, you’re free to throw up now…smush-mushines of sugar-coated life spiel over.

But honestly, did you think I sounded like a miserable old goat before reading this post?

A crunchy WAHM, not a toffee chocolate bar with honeycomb

Image by Marshall Astor - Food Pornographer via Flickr

Since entering the zany world of social media for mothers, I’ve had to learn a whole load of new acronyms and phrases. Like what’s a SAHM or a WAHM…

Let’s start with the basics, you probably already know these. But for those that don’t, these are not chocolate bars, instead they refer to a type of mum:
SAHM (stay at home mum)
WAHM (work at home mum)

Crunchy
And crunchy, I thought that was just a chocolate bar – seems I’ve been living in the dark ages. So let me enlighten you (again sorry if you already know).

In a generic context my random searchings reveal that it’s a word describing the modern-day hippy, other sources suggest it’s about being green and environmentally aware. In the mama context  there are different grades of crunchy all based on how much you embrace things like co-sleeping, sling wearing, breastfeeding…and more weird stuff like walking around barefooted all the time.

I found this survey that allow you to assess how much of a crunchy mum you really are, I got 86 (which came out as ‘pretty crispy’), if walked around barefoot (I live in the UK for goodness sake), homeschooled, didn’t get my daughter vaccinated, didn’t wear make-up etc, my score would have been well up there – I’m kinda glad it’s not.

Give it a try yourself and why not share your results?

How Crunchy Are You