Category Archives: Uncategorized

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The Value of a Good Midwife in Labour

For the last eight weeks I’ve been considering how to say thankyou to the midwife who helped me deliver my son at home in September. I’ve been thinking hard about the words that I could use to show my deep gratitude that would show what her assistance meant to me.

For me and many other mothers world over, giving birth is one of life’s great moments. I can firmly say that giving birth to both of my children naturally were the best days of my life. Giving birth at home tops it all. Still now, having had time to reflect, I am still in awe of that day.

The reality is, it would have never happened that way without Teresa, the experienced midwife on call for the day who guided me through it all. Awesome doesn’t quite capture how brilliant she was. I wish all midwives could be like her; experienced, relaxed, supportive and fun. I could not have ever felt more reassured during my labour.

She didn’t just take care of the physical things like checking the baby and telling me when to move into different positions, she focused a lot on the emotional things and enabled me too off load and get my head straight and focused. I always underestimated this side of labour, but now I know it makes a difference and am sure this is one of the big reasons I was able to labour quickly and smoothly (along with the calmness of being in my own home, and having self confidence and belief in my body’s ability).

The fact that by being at home, I had her full attention all of the time, made an even bigger difference. This for me is a major plus point of a homebirth.

So my message is that we should be valuing good midwifery more in society. Birth can be the most beautiful thing if you have the right environment and support.

And what a way to start a new life!

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Late Pregnancy: Come on Baby

I’ve almost had it with being pregnant. Tomorrow I’m 38 weeks and wishing it were the end. Surely this kid is nearly done baking?

The latest development in suffering has started to tip the balance. I’m still sleeping well, but getting increasingly tired, and hence not relishing my time with Babe (my toddler) as much. We’re still having a ball, I’m just finding it much harder than a week and a half ago.

WARNING: Don’t read the next bit if you don’t want to hear about puke.

The arrival of the desire to puke when I lie down is really ticking me off. And it’s not from nausea but a feeling at the back of my throat like my food has not gone down properly. Yet at the same time I’m blooming starving! Just before bed I really need to chow down a bowl full of cereal to keep up my nursing prego mama carbohydrates, but after a chunder incident the other night, I’m airing on the side of no ‘supper caution’. Instead I slope off to bed feeling a little hungry with a cereal bar to shove in my drawer should I wake up totally starving in the night.

The general food thing is driving me mad too, I can’t eat much and then I’m famished again 30 minutes later. I need an all day buffet in my house.

Bedtime is also disturbed by baby Boyo and his evening excersises, it sometimes feels like he is doing ten rounds in a boxing rink and I’m the opponent, except it’s dirty fighting where anything goes – kicks, head-buts, the lot.

So I’m now talking very sweetly (ok, so perhaps not so sweet) to baby Boyo, asking him to get a move on with his fattening up and final lung developments, and then get the hell outta there.

I’d really like him to be a September baby, as I am myself a Virgo. But I’d rather he didn’t make his arrival on my birthday. Which might yet be the case as his due date is a couple of days before. If I were to choose, and I know I can’t, but if I could, he would be born on Friday.

Babe, my toddler was nine days late, I’m really hoping that the theory (or is it an old wives tale?) that the second one is often early, comes through for us. Obviously I don’t want him to be born until all development is complete, and I won’t be forced into early induction at 10 days post due, but all the same I’d like it to be over with shortly.

Come on Boyo the end is nigh, it’s time for our meeting. Please don’t be late, that’s just not polite.

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Tandem nursing with a toddler and baby here we come

Photo borrowed from TouchstoneZ Parenting blog

Soon I am about to start my new breastfeeding journey of nursing a toddler and a newborn, which I’m sure will be greeted with another bought of skepticism from the righteous. But I’m used to fighting such battles and defending my corner, so it should be a walk in the park. I say this hopefully, knowing what new baby hormones and lack of sleep do to me. Then again, I also know that the net result is usually me becoming more stubborn (determined).

Babe, my toddler of two years and nearly nine months is still happily breastfeeding in the morning and evening. I have no intention to start planning an end date, it’s her call. With baby Boyo due very soon, for sure I will be breastfeeding them both. I’m really excited about this, as it has been shown to really help sibling bonding and minimise the negative feelings the older child may have.

There is part of me that is a little apprehensive, as I hear that sometimes the older child in response to the new baby and lots of milk, is likely to start nursing frequently again. How will we as a family manage this? How will visitors react? Yes, I am thinking, sod others, this is my family. But still I can’t help being a tiny bit bothered in such situations.

If truth be told I sometimes revel in being strong enough to step out of the mould and do what I believe is right regardless of social norms. But there is the other side of me which doesn’t like being scorned on by others. But I guess that’s being a mother, no matter what parenting choices you make.

I ultimately feel so privileged that I am going to have the chance to try out tandem breastfeeding. Some would love to, but for many reasons they are not finally able to. So I’m determined to make the most of it.

If there are any tandem mothers out there willing to share some tips, I’d really love to hear them. Thanks.

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Mountain biking 2 year old on balance bike

Adrenaline junky? I think yes. This little girl of mine I’m sure is going to love mountain biking as much as I used to.

Today we took Babe up to the local forest to have a bash at some of the trails on her Islabikes balance bike. She’s defiantly an off roader kinda girl and was happy charging up and down dale over tree roots and through the brash. At just two and a half years old, I’m immensely proud, who’s mamas girl!

For the last four months she has been getting more and more confident on her balance bike. It really took off when we went camping three weeks ago.

Her ability to correct herself before a potential fall is brilliant. Much better than me in fact. Some people might recall a nasty face smash accident I had about six and a half years ago. Doh, stop looking at the sheep while on single track you stupid woman! I paid the consequences during my trip to A&E to have stitches in my face.

Yes I can’t deny it, I loved all the comments people made about the cute little girl as they rode or walked past. She already looks like a proper little mountain biker in her combats, red motorbike patterned Specialized helmet and off roading toddler bike.

Soon I’m confident we’ll have her riding down the ramps with no feet on the floor.

Who says this kind of stuff is just for boys!

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What is going on with this toddler?

Hmm…me is grumpy? Why? Because for the last two days Babe has insisted on staying up until I properly go to bed. And last night she kept me up later…latched on, even after the Internet router had turned off for the night so I couldn’t even tweet and surf while I waited for her to unclamp and let me go.

She’s also been extra clingy, which I don’t mind too much. It’s the carrying thing that screws my back up.

The nose is a bit snotty but is that what it is? Is she under the weather? Or is it the talk of baby coming soon. Last night at one point she said “I don’t like Boyo”. Ooo I guess that’s a reasonable feeling. But still it makes me a bit sad when she says that kind of stuff.

When nursing her to sleep it takes ages, she just wants to stay latched on. It’s a delicate art slipping away while not getting bitten or waking the sleeping child. I’m usually good, but she has been putting my stealthy escape skills to the test the last few nights.

Today I got her up earlier and she napped earlier too, so I’m just hoping and hoping that she goes to bed at a reasonable time.

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Camping with toddler while 31 weeks pregnant

Yes we did it! We ventured out into the not so wilderness of a delightful campsite in Devon to enjoy nearly three full days in the sun watching the rabbits a hoppin and listening to the birds a tweetin. It was fantastic but knackering for all involved, except Babe who just lapped up the whole experience.

Poor hubby is exhausted, we worked him hard. Being 31 weeks pregnant my active set up and pack down assistance is somewhat limited. My very loud pregnant snoring did not help the situation for him neither. My sleep apnea gets worse when I get fat…pregnant. It’s also worse when fatigued, as I was on the second night because Babe had woken me for a good two hours the night before upset because of her nettle stings.

Babe had the best time and we managed the trip without any arguments, despite the fatigue. Tantrums from every corner were almost non-existent, but we all joined in with Babe whining on occasions.

Toilet issues seem to be one of the most memorable aspects of the trip for me, for many reasons…

The excitement on the first day and a half meant that Babe forgot about going to the toilet until she had leaked a little. I only bought the bare essentials of underwear for her because I was behind on the washing. It soon got to a wash and wear situation, which made me particularly thankful for the good weather.

Pooing is a bit of a problem though. The rule is only to poop in the proper toilet, not our fab tent toilet. But that is easier said than done with Babe. It can take her a good couple of hours to work up to it, which usually requires many trips to the loo and dancing around in circles…the poo dance. So I spent a lot of time hiking back on forth to the toilet block for her only to get there and declare that she didn’t need to go after all. Luckily largely these trips were not wasted. Now baby Boyo is getting larger my bladder is feeling the squeeze and I would be seriously scorned upon by hubby if I were to use the tent toilet in the day, as he is the one having to do ALL the lifting and carrying at the moment, which also involves loo emptying (usually my job). I was already doing a good enough job of filling it up at night :-)

Babe’s other trick was to be heading over to the on site toilet block for a pee, but to stop part way to pull her pants down and squat. Now I was super proud of her when out on a walk on Sunday and she managed to squat and pee in the bush all on her own “like a big girl”. But in the middle of the field outside this same couple’s tent (each time the same spot), I was not so proud.

The not so big rip off day out
The MIL recently told us that Babecomb Model Village was a great place to go, hubby also had fond childhood memories, so off we trotted for the day out. Cut that, that should read, morning out. We were fleeced. Paid nearly a fiver for four hours car parking of which we only used two. Then paid nine squid per adult for entrance. I’m not saying it wasn’t enjoyable, cause it was. But not nearly a tenners worth! Babe was also a bit young for it too, and got a little bored. So if you’re holidaying in Devon, my advice is give it a miss unless you have a massive desire to see a petrol station in miniature.

The campsite
If you are thinking of coming to the South West (UK) camping, the campsite we stayed at called Dornafield is THE place to book up for. No swimming pool but two playgrounds, massive plots, great facilities (won loo of the year last year and given how much I frequent them at the moment, that’s quite an important factor), nice on site shop and fantastic onsite wildlife (rabbits and birds). It’s quite expensive for tents, but electricity is included and it’s worth the extra.

So who else is off camping this summer?

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31 Weeks Pregnant & Going Camping

We can’t resist, despite cancelling our big two week summer camping trip a month ago, we’re going to give in. Even if it’s just for a few days.

As the summer progresses and I hear about all my friends off camping, I can no longer fight the inner outdoors girl within me. We’ve got another week off and while our last staycation was fab, we just don’t have our hearts in it this time.

Then as soon as hubby and I started talking about it we realised how much it meant to Babe. She is sooo excited and it’s proved a great bargaining tool. So there is no turning back.

I’ve checked that I can get myself into my sleeping bag and will take lots of extra cushions, so let’s see how we get on.

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Active Birth and Yoga Classes for Pregnant Mamas

I’ve been meaning for many weeks to return to the active birth classes I participated in during my first pregnancy. But with Babe around its been a struggle to find the time and make it a priority. As labor draws ever closer, it’s gone up on the priority list.

Image from birthwise.net

All week we had planned our schedule to accommodate my evening out and it worked a treat. Tea was cooked and eaten early and despite Babe crying when I left the house at 6pm, she and daddy had a great time without me for the next three hours.

Class starts
Despite running in (after the two flights of stairs) thinking I was late somewhat breathless, it turned out I was in good time. So I didn’t need to nearly run those teenagers over on my way, but never mind, hopefully it taught them a lesson.

For the first time in a good few weeks I didn’t feel huge, surrounded by other pregnant mama’s, some who were up to 35 and 37 weeks gone. I felt an idiot for wearing my jeans though, everyone else was in yoga pants or leggings. What had I been thinking? At least my bare feet didn’t look too bad, the red nail varnish I’d applied rather badly the other day was looking surprisingly OK from a distance. Luckily my top was not lasagna splattered or toddler snot smeared, so it turned out apart from looking a little unsuitably dressed, I didn’t look a total scruff.

What’s involved in this two-hour session?
Obviously there is some yoga. I’m not usually a yoga goer/doer, but its great in pregnancy.

They also cover breathing exercises - in through the nose for 1,2,3 and out through the mouth (like breathing through a straw) for 1,2,3,4,5,6. Those of you who haven’t been through labor or childbirth might think this kind of stuff is time-wasting and just designed to make you look stupid. It’s not, trust me, its important. If you want to stay in control and not melt down into a frenzied state of pain ridden panic, for many its a god send. This is not the only breathing excercise we did, I don’t recall the other stuff too well.

Quite a bit of time is also focused on relaxation and visualisation. Which included some chanting…oooo….aaaaaa……eeeee (I’m going for doe…. ray…. me….). When I first went to these classes almost three years ago, this stuff cracked me up big time. I really struggled to stifle my giggles and sniggers, peeping with one eye open to see how the others were reacting. This time I was conditioned and prepared, and it all seemed very normal to me – I wasn’t going to be brandished the immature newbie today.

Finally we also talk about active birth were the teacher educates us on the natural  physiological process of birth, and teaches us how to promote the production of key hormones that will enhance own body’s natural coping  mechanisms in labour and birth. Sounds like hippy fluffy stuff, but this is the real business – and it works. I couldn’t have done my natural birth last time around without this knowledge. It was so nice to be reminded of all the things I’d forgotten and to learn lots of new techniques.

If you want to know more, check out the Birthwise website. I’m afraid they only do classes in Devon, but it’s still a great resource for learning more about the concept.

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Craft Projects with a Toddler

I’m really not sure who gets more enjoyment and satisfaction out of doing little craft projects, Babe or I. But I don’t think its such a bad thing if the balance tips over my way a bit more, surely its healthy for Babe to observe mama enjoying a wholesome activity for a change. Rather than watching my joy at going shopping or eating cake?

I thought I’d share with you a couple of our recent projects and activities. I might be a bit deluded if I thought we might inspire you, but we can live in hopes. By the chance that you do become inspired, please do let me know.

One of the great things about doing crafts and things with a toddler is that no matter how crappy the results turn out, its fine cause you can blame it on the child. Now if I told you I had made these on my own then you would just think, OMG she really shouldn’t give up her day job. For the record, I did not do these on my own, I could do a marginally better job without toddler sabotage or meddling.

Kiddy crafts suit me down to the ground, as expectations are low.

Salt Dough Mobile

I think there is still room for improvement with this, I just started to get a little bored and felt overcome my a sensetation of “oh it’ll do”. All ideas for improvements welcome, but I’m not going near the drill, and yes I can use it but have no vice to hold the wood. And it’s hardly a way to get a toddler involved. I don’t think she is quite ready for real power tools.

So this is what we did

1) Made salt dough using the instructions on the Make It & Mend It website here.

2) Used christmas star cookie cutters and a small storage pot to create the circles. Did some hearts too, but forgot to stab holes in those before letting it harden, so they will be used as token little gifts to go in birthday cards.

You can shove the salt dough cut outs in a low oven for four hours, but I couldn’t justify the electricity so I left them in the airing cupboard for 3/4 days which worked a treat.

3) Cut a length of wood
I only had a garden cane in the garage so I hacked about a third off the end of a short cane, no animals or children were hurt in the process you’ll be glad to know. I wanted to put holes through the cane but realised this would only work using the drill…and I’ve already explained the problem there.

4) Tie coloured cord around salt dough shapes and tie onto wood. You could use ribbon, but I found this coloured cord stuff in our local sewing shop which I think looks a tiny bit better. For this one we used three different colours of 1 metre length.

Finally tie some string (but if you had more cord I think that would be better), at each end of the wooden strip so you can hang the mobile.

Monster

He’s an ugly bugly but I hope kinda cute in a scrubby sort of way. He evolved over the course of about three weeks combining sticking, painting and paper mache.

So this is what we did

1) Get a smallish box (Oats So Simple 10 Sachet box used here) and cut up two egg boxes to create each leg/foot and glue on. For the nose/mouth glue onto one end a yogurt pot. For the tail base use a small toilet roll inner and stick on making flaps from some of the end of the tube. For spikes use the other separator bits of the egg boxes and glue on top.

Use the other egg box bits to make the eyes and eye lids.

At this point everything is very fragile…so some paper mache is in order.

2) Paper mache
This is basic paper mache, I’m not talking about making paper mache pulp for sculpting with. Tear paper up and just stick it on with some PVA glue. Messy and lots of fun…this is surprisingly therapeutic when a toddler is not smearing glue all over the tabletop and attempting to eat the paper.

Newspaper is ordinarily recommended, but I didn’t have any so used a local kids centre newsletter instead. Paper was a bit too good quality which made tearing hard work but I liked the orange colour so it was worth it.

Once you’ve left it to dry out for about a day you can crack on with the decorating.

3) Monster body art
We only had finger paints and a pastry brush but that sufficed I think. Once this was dry we stuck on purple hearts for the body, dried pasta on the spines, buttons in the eye sockets, stars on the eye lids and feathers for the ears.

Finally we stuck strips of wool onto the toilet roll tube tail.

And that was that…onto the next project – ideas please.

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What’s Going on Spain? Poor Habiba & Alma

This morning I lay in bed snuggling and nursing with Babe that little longer, having read the latest updates on the Spanish breastfeeding Habiba & Alma story.

If you’ve not heard about it, then I implore you to click on a few of the links below and find out more.

A mother has had her baby daughter of 15 months taken away from her because she continued to breastfeed. Now you might expect this from a country renowned for its diabolical human rights, but we are talking about Spain* here. A fellow member of the EU, a place we go on our holidays to, a country that we get lots of fruit and veg from where the pretty tanned people live. Not a country that separates mother from baby just for continuing to breastfeed!

I’ve been holding off blogging about this for a week. As at first I wasnt sure if they might have separated Habiba and her baby for some other reason. I didn’t want to be part of a false rumour mill. But observing all the details unfold, as medical professionals and lawyers get involved I now believe that this is true.

Babe has been extra clingy to nurse this morning, maybe she understands too? In fact when I got up this morning she hollered “oy more num nums mummy”.

The latest update on the story is that Habiba was allowed to see Alma her baby girl yesterday. When Alma rooted around to be nursed, the orderly shouted “no”…

I cannot imagine what it would be like to:

a) have my child taken away from me
b) to be able to then see her and not be able to comfort her in the most loving and nurturing way possible

If I didn’t work I would be one of those mamas protesting this week. My second best is this blog post, to at least help in a very small way to spread the awareness of this awful story.

If you are a nurturing parent, that values your own parenting choices then please support and follow the We Are All Habiba facebook page.

Today I’m thankful that I live in a country that does not scorn on me (heavily) for my extended breastfeeding. My doctor and midwife both support MY decision to nurture my child this way.

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* Sorry about previous references to Morroco, this has now been updated.