I don’t know about you, but when I first had my daughter I was so afraid of falling asleep with her while BFing. I trusted my instincts that it was natural and fine, but the health professionals just countered this, and at the time I was inexperienced so I thought they must be right and so did hubby – who would have a real go at me if I dropped to sleep while feeding. But now I know more, I realise that its largely a load of rubbish – as long as you practise safe co-sleeping. This is where they should be educating mothers, not using scare tactics on research that is largely flawed. As time has gone on I’ve got more chilled out about sleeping with babe, but I really wished I had known all this before.
My view of health visitors is pretty poop, they seem to have a rule book for one that they think should apply to all. Maybe that’s a bit harsh – I guess they are not all bad, but I’ve heard about a good few that are far more destructive than constructive in supporting the mother and her child. Anyway, less of the bitch sesh…I was talking about co-sleeping wasn’t I?
When DD was a baby (she still is to me now at 19 months) I figured out that the only way to keep myself awake in the night was to come downstairs, make a cuppa and watch some trashy nighttime repeat TV like Sons & Daughters (which I actually quite like now) or Desperate Housewives (my post about total respect for stay at home mums doesn’t extend to this group tho). I’d make myself a cuppa and tuck into some snack like a piece of fruit or a nice chocolate bar…yummy 🙂
I then got an iPOD and transitioned to playing games and listening to podcasts in bed – dare I admit that I’m now a fan of the UK radio 4 show about a farming community called ‘The Archers’.
My next transition was to lie next to each other and feed, let her drop off to sleep, wait 5 mins and then scoop DD up back into her cot – no matter how many times a night. I started doing this out of necessity during bad nights of teething and when she was unwell – where moving her away from me was nigh on impossible.
Now she’s a bit older and I’m more confident about the situaiton – we’ve reached a point now, where she sleeps with me for the duration of the night if she wakes up after I’ve gone to bed and before I get up. We often have a lovely morning 5am/6am feed where I dose and then she sleeps in my bed until about 8am when I wake her. If she doesn’t wake up after I’ve gone to bed she sleeps in her own cot.
I’ve changed my view and transition for various reasons, more significantly because I’m more educated on the topic, reading books on attachment parenting and meeting more mums that do the same. It’s also been a bit of a necessity and down to a desire to make life easier, working full-time I need to find the best way of getting the most sleep. I’m also trying to identify at the moment if there is trend that indicates when she sleeps with me at night that she is less clingy – she definitely was this morning.
So now, we have reached a wonderful chilled out place, where nights in our house are generally a calm and quiet experience.