Just before babe was born, hubby and I were signed up to go along to the free government provided birth and baby classes…classes for the masses. Designed to cater for every level of intelligence. For someone at the beginning of pregnancy these would be great, but they are usually near the end – and by this time, many mothers and fathers to be will have made an effort to educate themselves a bit on the topic – even if it’s just for morbid curiosity.
Have you done any homework?
I personally, found the large part of these, a waste of time. It amazed me how little some people knew about giving a birth so close to the arrival of their little one. Surely getting to this point in pregnancy, it wouldn’t be a surprise? Some people seem to have got themselves up the duff, without any effort then to find out what they had let themselves in for. And I’m not talking about the teenage mums here, which I’m not having a go at, because at least they have an excuse. They are still teenagers. But what about the parents in their 20’s, 30’s and 40’s?
It’s not all bootees and baby gro’s I’m afraid
The naivety of some people, little miss mother to be with perfect manicured nails, perfect hair and stilettos shrieks to her friend in the toilets “I’m so afraid, what if I poo myself while giving birth.” He he, I had to laugh. Was that the biggest of her child birth and baby worries? Ah my dear, you are sooo disillusioned! You don’t know what natures got in store for you; it’s the pain you want to be worrying about! And poo, well that will be like water off a ducks back to you in a few months time, what with all the dirty nappies your little will be brewing up for you. Woopeedooo, another poo, thanks babe, I love you too!
Little miss know-it-all
Then there are people that go the other way, they’ve done the reading and they want everyone to know about it. They think that they are soo clever, always the first one to call out the answer. The true is, there are those of us who know it, and know so much more and can’t even be bothered. This makes me sound like a real cow, but I’m sure you get what I’m trying to say. No one likes a ‘know-it-all’.
Active birth classes
I did go along to some classes that did me some good, these were private paid for ones on active birthing. They were a bit too hippy mama for me at times…every class always started with a meditation session. This really freaked me out first time around. I remember opening one eye and sneakily looking round to see if everyone was talking it seriously…and they were. But I soon had some partners in giggle crime, my friends Jane and Tanya, we suitably lowered the tone with childish snickers! But I would definitely recommend these, if you want to go down the natural birth route, or just if you want to make the experience a little more pleasant, find out where your local class is and give it a go.