Not everyone should feel obligated to have kids

“Having children will be the making of you” 

“You’d be a great mother, you just need to give it a try”

For people who have made the conscious decision not to have kids these are the kinds of statements they hear all the time. And I can’t blame them for getting just a little pee’d off. Being a parent isn’t for everyone, and we shouldn’t all expect everyone to fall into line and get populating.

Under population hasn’t been an issue for some time now (it might be argued that having more children is economically good for growth), but come on, move on.

Having children has always seemed like a natural and fundamental part of life for me, but it’s not for everyone, and it’s unfair for other people to judge those who have made the choice not to have kids. In fact, I used to be one of those people who was pushy on the topic of having kids, saying the kind of things I said a minute ago. I realize now that I was out-of-order, who am I to judge other people’s choices?!

Again, this has been another example of me taking a 180 degree shift in an opinion on a topic since I’ve had kids. Maybe it’s the kid factor, or maybe it’s just that I’ve grown up a bit (just a tiny bit perhaps). On the other hand, I think I have just moved my judgments onto some other poor unsuspecting souls.

For some people, having children is ‘the making of them’. They find something that they truly love and are good at (I don’t mean that patronizingly). Maybe it’s made them grow up and be more responsible? Maybe they’ve just found something that WORKS for them.

But for some people, it’s a disaster waiting to happen. After all we are talking about bringing little people into the world and being totally responsible for them. It is life changing and for some, it’s not the kind of life change that they want or can cope with. There are enough unwanted kids out there, lets not go adding more onto the pile.

Take my big sister as an example, she is quite happy to be the best auntie in the world. But there is no way she wants kids of her own.

Auntie Barbs counting money with babe

Auntie Barbs entertaining babe


My view is, don’t make someone feel abnormal because they don’t want kids. It might NOT be ‘the making of them.’  Who are others to judge what each individual wants from life?


One thought on “Not everyone should feel obligated to have kids

  1. barbs says:

    After I got off the phone I vainly worried about what photos you had used, phew they weren’t as bad as I thought lol! Good point for your blog – not everyone is parent material and at least some people realise this before they create emotional casualties… it is selfish not to have children, but just as selfish to have them. Hence personal choice. Well written blog!!

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