Flat Stanley: What Really Happened When He Came to Stay

Cover of "Flat Stanley (picture book edit...

Cover of Flat Stanley (picture book edition)

I’ve just finished writing to the teacher of my friend’s boy who lives in Texas, about the adventures of his Flat Stanley while staying with us in the South West of England. It’s a good wholesome note, but all the while my thoughts were interrupted by what I really wanted him to get to work on during his stay.

Over a week ago Stanley arrived through my letter box from my friends in Germany, where no doubt he had been licked from head to toe by their massive but adorable Newfoundland dog Pooh. My friend informed me that Stanley seemed to be getting a bit damp around the edges (no wonder, I was sure there was something she wasn’t telling me). No panic though, his moisture issues have been resolved, as most of time at our house Stanley has been safely tucked up on the bookshelf. In truth I had to take him out of babe’s reach, who wanted to kiss him all the time and then screw him up…I hope that’s not going to be how she plans on treating all the boys.

We are also dabbling with the idea of potty training at the moment, with frequent 15-30 minute spells of nappy-off-time and practicing sitting on the potty. If Stan-the-man was left hanging around too much, I feared that his moisture issues might return.

Babe and Flat Stanley in the kiddy kitchen

The wholesome teacher version of Stan the man’s adventures included stuff such as trips to the beach and eating ice-cream (it’s a bit chilly for that but we still do on some days in the winter). The bits I left out where the jobs he was set to task with:

1)      Salvaging the odd socks (and the odd breast pad) all covered in dust from behind the radiators that was causing the smoke alarm to keep going off when the heating clicked on at 6.30am in the morning.

2)      Retrieving that ‘missing’ wooden stacking block from under the fridge freezer

3)      Scrubbing behind the toilet – ew I hate doing that job. And because of this it gets done even more rarely and is even grosser than it would be if it was done on a regular basis.

Since he’d earned his keep, I felt I should reward him with an egg cup full of the drink of choice at the moment (which is on offer in Tesco), San Miguel lager, and a stick of the resident favourite new chocolate, Kinder mini sticks (bought for Halloween).

If I’ve missed any of those jobs that involve horrible hard to reach places, please let me know, I’ve not posted him on yet….

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