Early #2 Pregnancy Fears

Cats Eyes

Image by doug88888 via Flickr

When I first found out I was pregnant I was stricken with mixed emotions. Yay, no more end of cycle thoughts of “oh damn the monthly lady has come back and there’s no bun in the oven”. Well I only had a couple of months like that, so I can’t moan.

Then the reality dawned on me, I was going to have to share my attentions given to babe with another. I was stricken by guilt at just the very thought of dividing my attention.

Argh the hours I wittled away in the middle of the night (in between my gazzillion pee trips) worrying…

– what if I get so consumed by the new baby that my babe gets pushed aside?

– on the other hand, what if I don’t bond with the new baby in the same wonderful magnetic way that I have with babe? And then don’t give baby enough loving attention?

– how am I going to fairly divide my love and attention between the two?

After some googling, (my where would we be without google?) I realised that I wasn’t some freak mother, all these thoughts were normal. Oh to be normal, sometimes it’s such a nice feeling to know that you conform. Yes this was one of those parenting normal comforting moments.

People tell me that it’s suprising; you have an endless amount of love, it’s time you’re short on.

Now my biggest concern is jealousy, how to keep this at a minimum. I’ve read lots of stuff, but what are your top tips?

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I’m half way to finishing my baby

A bowl of Cheerios

Image via Wikipedia

On Tuesday we hit the 20 week milestone, which means I’m halfway through growing my baby. Woo how time flies. Believe it or not sometimes I forget I’m pregnant, not like first time around where I was totally absorbed by it.

I forget until I…

Stub my toe – my gosh I’m doing this so often lately. I’m a little proud that I’ve got better at stifling the filth that pours out of my mouth. Instead I just howl like a werewolf.

Look at my bumb in the mirror – oh yeah, I can believe this baby is the length of a banana now. No stretch marks yet, so I continue to slather on the Bio Oil morning and evening in the hope that I’ll miss the boat again on that.

Forget to keep my carbs up – tiredness and nausea then kicks in yelling in my head for neglecting myself again. I’ve found as a nursing mama that keeping up my carbs during pregnancy is a priority.

Try to paint my toe nails – yes I’m starting to struggle already. I’ve never done pedicures, I don’t like the idea of inflicting my feet on someone else to deal with even if I am paying them good money. And besides I can’t justify the money so I might need to bribe hubby with beer and chocolate to paint my trotters for me come the height of summer. Babe has taken a keen interest but I fear it might end up looking like someone has gone at my feet with a chainsaw.

Forget stupid things – flaming pregnancy brain, this makes me come across even more of a ditzy blond than usual. I don’t need anymore assistance in that department. If you’re one of my subscribers you might recall getting notification of blog post called ‘gh’, which was promptly deleted but not after you had all got the empty email.

Feel totally exhausted – it seems to catch up on me really suddenly. One day I’m bouncing off the walls, being intelligent and even occasionally witty. The next I want to hibernate and just live on Cheerios and strawberries. Pace is everything, I’ve still got a long way to go with a growing load.

But the highlights are…

Being able to wear my lovely new maternity clothes – and there are still items waiting to get there first wear. I love it!

Feeling my baby kick and move lots – this is the best feeling. Baby is not big enough to crack a rib or puncture your bladder, but just large enough to be soothing and reassuring. Yes, I really am pregnant. There is a real baby in there.

The next milestone is next Wednesday, our anomaly and gender scan. I will be sharing, never fear 🙂

Transitioning toddler from co-sleeping to lone sleeping

Mama and babe not co-sleeping but at the beach

After co-sleeping for quite a while now, we have made the transition to lone sleeping – at first I think it was hardest for me to get used to not having my little hot water bottle near by.

But now I think we’ve cracked it, more than three-quarters of the time babe (currently 2 years and 4 months) is now sleeping on her own in her own bed through the night.

I confess I still nurse her to sleep in my bed, give her the five minutes (you might recall my post on this a couple of weeks ago) and then transfer her in deep sleep to her cot bed. This bit of the old routine we are hanging on to (unless she decides otherwise).

Getting over my mixed feelings
As a full-time working mother, I love co-sleeping. It gave us that extra time to bond throughout the night, and rarely did I moan at middle of the night waking and nursing back to sleep. I saw it as our special quiet time. As pregnancy has progressed night-time waking has became more of an irritation that fed my exhaustion and sciatica – from sleeping perching on the side of the bed because ‘bed hogger babe’ was determined to try and hug all corners of the double mattress during her sleep.

From first getting pregnant I suspected it was something I needed to do as I got larger and more restless at night (currently I’m 20 weeks along) and over the last three/four weeks that time had come where I was wanting my space.

So here we are, she slept through another night and so did I. Long may it continue.

Camping 20 weeks pregnant with a toddler in terrible two’s

Babe sleeping well in her new sleeping bag

I’ve just come back from my first trip camping while pregnant with a toddler and I think the best way to summarise it would be exhausting.

What I thought might be a problem, was not

  • Being comfortable while sleeping, thanks to my wonderful extra wide DreamTime self inflating mattress.
  • Being tired from a night time waking toddler. Thanks to a new big girl’s sleeping bag she slept through two out of three nights. It would have been three out of three if hubby hadn’t decided to loudly blow his nose in our ears.

Things I didn’t consider where: generally how demanding and tiring camping is
Despite hubby doing all the work that involves lifting and stuff camping still took it out of me. Hubby already regularly does the lion’s share of set up, but I usually am in charge of the tent toilet. But because I’m not suppose to lift heavy stuff while being pregnant, I managed to get myself out of this too – what a win! Particularly as babe was struggling with the concept of not doing number two’s in the tent toilet, and he was left with a very messy clean up job.

We have a rule, you do anything more than a pee in the tent toilet and you have to clean it out. But we could hardly get our two year old to do that 😉

Despite hubby doing all the poo’ey set-up jobs, I’d not considered all the demanding extra work of having a toddler in the height of terrible two’s and not being at home with everything at your finger tips. I’ve lost count how many times I walked across the field to the toilet block which was some 300 metres or so away from the tent. Note for next time, choose a pitch next to the toilet block, not at the farthest point in the field.

I also seemed to forget how tiring pregnancy can be
Even though I’m theoretically in the most energetic phase of pregnancy (second trimester), it’s still pretty exhausting at times – particularly with a toddler around that only wants mummy to take her to the toilet, feed her food, get her dressed etc.

 

 

 

So next we have two weeks camping planned for six week’s time…yes, even we question our sanity sometimes. Plan B and C discussions are underway.

Maternity cover interviews

Monkey and baby

Image by doug88888 via Flickr

Yesterday, I spent most of the day in the office interviewing people for my job while I’m on maternity leave.

It’s strange looking for your own perfect replacement, and interviewing them is more weird. Yet kind of satisfying being on the other side of the table – now its my turn to ask those nasty questions 🙂

I’m kinda glad that it’s been a challenge to find the perfect person. In fact there is no perfect person to fill my shoes, how dare anyone think to imply such a terrible thing 😉

But OMG some of the ladies should be able to show me a thing or too, and that’s kind of intimidating. In my usual optimist perspective I’m trying to take this opportunity to get someone with better skills than me in some areas, so they can help me improve my skills (not snuggle in tight to MY job).

It’s mine, it’s mine and I know my legal rights…don’t get any ideas ladies.

It was a long day with three interviews, should have been four but one woman didn’t turn up. The cheek! That’s just so rude don’t you think? And I’d almost given myself indigestion by yomping down my lunch mid web meeting in order to be ready in time for her arrival.

Anyways as the afternoon wore on I began to wane, one interview melded into another to the point in the final session of the day I was talking and had to stop to ask and confess that I wasn’t sure where I was going. Oh crap, how unprofessional. I was tired, I’d been up early re-writing a work document at 7.15am before even attempting the long drive up the motorway to the office. That’s not factoring my disturbed night sleep from left leg prego sciatica. So where was I? He he, making that very same point. Well I think that’s that point made sufficiently.

The quote of the day
This had to be when packing up with the last interviewee. I bent down on all fours on the floor ( dog like) to unplug the laptop power cable and she kindly asked if I was ok. My answer was “oh no I’m fine, that position is great for my back”

We both laughed and commented on how wrong that sounded. Thank god it was a woman, or not one of my super dirty minded colleagues that would revel in repeatedly reminding me of it.

Toddler fighting for independence

Babe at West Town Farms Spring Event and Easter Egg Hunt

Babe (now  two years and four months) goes through moments where she really wants the independence to do things herself. Sadly her capabilities often don’t match her independence expectations, which after some time (while I’m usually giggling away not so silently to myself or gouging my eyes out with frustration because she won’t let me help), a tantrum breaks out.

During these moments I (largely) feel genuine sympathy. Even now in my thirties I can remember feeling this very same way when I was a child. If I confess maybe there are times in my adult life I’ve felt the same and sometimes thrown things across the room and yelled at myself.

So I try to be sympathetic and help in the arms reach way she wants. But buckling herself into the car seat is not one of those times any parent is going to stand back.

You tried buckling a child into a car seat that doesn’t want to go in or wants to do it themselves?
They are stronger and more fierce than they look. I’m just glad I haven’t got a strong boy to contend with. My little girl can put up a fine fight when she wants too though!

Saturday was a fine example
Getting back into the car to leave the local chinese takeaway. I was allowed to open the car door for her to climb in, in the opposite side to where the seat is located I should add (oo the contrary miss), then ordered to shut the door. Yes ordered, if you can tell me that you aren’t ordered around by your toddler sometimes (just occasionally perhaps?) I think you must either be called Helga or Mrs Iron Heart. Or your toddler is really a robot trained to say please and thankyou, not speak unless they are spoken to and always looks pristine. But I know you’re not like that and your toddler has ‘I’m a terror’ written under his or hers scalp like everyone else’s 🙂

Back to me standing outside the car with chinese going cold in hand, looking somewhat impatient and hungry. Babe had got into the seat and I knew the straps where going to be an issue, if I waited five mins she might have solved that before a tantrum, but the buckle was bound to throw her over the edge anyway. So I cut my losses and waded in, wrestling mama to the battle lines. After the slaps and pinches that she threw my way, we drove part way home in silence while she had a ‘naughty moment’. I had no naughty step or naughty corner available, so a naughty moment had to do. She duly apologised after her two minutes and we got on with singing and dancing along to the radio while talking of yummy chicken balls and noodles….and spotting motor bikes. Babe loves motorbikes for some reason. My sister will be proud.

I’m hoping she learns sooner rather than later to cut herself some slack and get some much-needed patience too!

Pregnant: alive and kicking

20 weeks pregnant

Image via Wikipedia

Today we hit 19 weeks (pregnant), woopppeee nearly the half way mark!

Despite this being my second pregnancy, I’ve only really started to recognise baby movements. I guess I’d been putting the ‘flutters’ down to a gurgling stomach or *shush* … trapped wind.

Nope this is no windy pops, this baba is a lively one. That’s when I get time to chill out enough to notice. Usually I’m the blue arsed one that looks particularly fly like.

I’d forgotten how great it felt, in the early days to feel gentle movements.

Yes, this is one of the best stages. Baby is not too big to kick your bladder or rib cage, but gently reminds you that they really are there alive and kicking.

Yes, today I’m loving being pregnant 🙂