Early #2 Pregnancy Fears

Cats Eyes

Image by doug88888 via Flickr

When I first found out I was pregnant I was stricken with mixed emotions. Yay, no more end of cycle thoughts of “oh damn the monthly lady has come back and there’s no bun in the oven”. Well I only had a couple of months like that, so I can’t moan.

Then the reality dawned on me, I was going to have to share my attentions given to babe with another. I was stricken by guilt at just the very thought of dividing my attention.

Argh the hours I wittled away in the middle of the night (in between my gazzillion pee trips) worrying…

– what if I get so consumed by the new baby that my babe gets pushed aside?

– on the other hand, what if I don’t bond with the new baby in the same wonderful magnetic way that I have with babe? And then don’t give baby enough loving attention?

– how am I going to fairly divide my love and attention between the two?

After some googling, (my where would we be without google?) I realised that I wasn’t some freak mother, all these thoughts were normal. Oh to be normal, sometimes it’s such a nice feeling to know that you conform. Yes this was one of those parenting normal comforting moments.

People tell me that it’s suprising; you have an endless amount of love, it’s time you’re short on.

Now my biggest concern is jealousy, how to keep this at a minimum. I’ve read lots of stuff, but what are your top tips?


3 thoughts on “Early #2 Pregnancy Fears

  1. Oh man, I remember feeling all of that too.

    I won’t lie, having two can be hard. For the first 6 weeks, I spent a lot of the time wondering what the hell I had done and how was I ever going to cope. Things got easier, though, and now it’s just second nature.

    Monkey found the transition really hard. For the first month, it was constant tantrums from the moment he awoke until the moment he crashed. He regressed in a lot of ways – wanting to be fed, abandoning any attempt to use the potty – and started taking a daily nap again. His frustration and anger at the huge change in our home was very much directed at me and the hubby, and he never showed an ounce of hostility towards Squish.

    Things got loads better after a month. The hardest thing for me about transitioning to 2 kids was dealing with Monkey’s upset. It felt like I’d lost my little boy forever, but he came back 🙂 Now Squish is crawling and into everything we are dealing with more jealousy than before, but he’s doing well with it and is becoming more fond of his brother as the weeks pass. They’re not friends yet, lol, but we definitely see the odd moment that’s like a window to their future relationship.

    Can definitely recommend Siblings Without Rivalry. Great book.

  2. oh, and tips for preventing jealousy – babe in the sling so you can spend any and all spare time playing with Big Sibling. Get her to help with the new baby, and something we didnt really do but am regretting not doing – integrate the new baby into the family routines asap. Things are fine now but for a while, monkey was very resistant to having Squish be a part of the bedtime routine etc. He doesnt really see him as a part of our family yet, and that may have been the case even if we had made the effort to really include him from the start.

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