This post comes from J, one of my friends in America
I really enjoy reading all of these blog posts about the endearing and sometimes frustrating events which occur in the early years of parenting. They bring back so many fond memories to me. My son, Sam, is now 17. So those diaper stories are long since past (thank goodness). But with age comes new and more interesting challenges and events. So my series of nurturing momma stories are going to be titled “And then they grow up…” and believe me, I have so many unbelievable stories to share. So look out nurturing momma’s – this is what’s in store in a few more years. J
And then they grow up… Hugging
Ah the teenager – full of hormones and the first love. My son Sam has always had way of attracting girls. It started in Kindergarten when little Taylor cornered him on the playground and planted him with his first kiss. That was just the beginning. Sam attended a Lutheran School from 1st – 8th grade, so the code of conduct was quite a bit stricter than in the public school system. Up through 7th grade Sam had a variety of “girlfriends” who were in name only. Then, in 8th grade Sam’s more affectionate side started showing up.
I will never forget the day I picked him up and he told me that the principle wanted to see me. I was working on a fundraising project so I thought nothing of this and I trooped into the office. Mr. Robson then asked where Sam was… I said he was waiting by the car – Why? Mr. Robson then said “bring Sam in here with you and I will explain what is going on”. (Uh oh…) so I walked out to the playground where my son suddenly looks quite sheepish. I looked at him and said “Sam, do you want to tell me what’s going on before we go in to see Mr. Robson?” Sam very nearly started crying. He said, “I hugged Niki and was holding hands someone saw.” (Now in my mind I am thinking … Hugged?… and we are going to the principal’s office?) Then I straitened up, gave him my best disapproving look and said, let’s go…
In the office with Mr. Robson, he explained how this is a Christian school and there are very strict standards of conduct. Hugging is simply not allowed. Since this is the second time (I am thinking… wait… hold on… the second time???) I felt it was important to bring it to your attention. Again, I looked at Sam and gave him my best disapproving look. Then I told Mr. Robson I will take care of it and we were dismissed.
Alright… it was a minor offense in the grand scheme of things. Somehow Sam learned his lesson and he was much more discreet with his affections. But wait… there is still more.
And then they grow up… Kissing
Sam is in high school. We are in a public school now, so holding hands and hugging is standard practice. In fact, that is how all the kids great each other it seems. Hugs all around!
Sam was in the first ½ of his sophomore year and along came “Emily”. Sam is quite smitten but Emily. And asked if he could bring Emily over after school one day. Naturally I agree. Then Sam says, “Mom, is it okay if I kiss Emily while I am at your house.” (jaw dropped, long pause… uhhhh…) So, I did my best stalling technique to wrap my brain around this request. After all, he is asking permission which is very polite – and it would be better to kiss in a location where his is unable to get carried away… Finally I stammered… “uhhh… Sam I don’t know. This is new. I am not sure how I would react. … but I guess that would be okay…” Sam then replies “Oh good. When I was at Dad’s and we were kissing there, Brandy (the step mom) walked in and she got so mad at us!” Huh… well if I were Brandy and I hadn’t been forewarned I probably would have flipped out too.
So the day came. I pick up the love birds from school and brought them to my house. At first Sam took her to his room (next door to my office) and it got real quiet…(what are they doing?) “Sam – honey, can you come here please?” He comes in and I said “Sam you can’t kiss her in your room”… “Why not mom, I have the door open” … “Well because Sam” … “Well where can we kiss mom?” … “well how about downstairs – maybe you should watch TV or something”… So they go downstairs… and it’s quiet… and occasionally I very noisily walk downstairs for no apparent reason just to keep things in check. I was so relieved when Emily’s mom picked her up ½ hour later. At which time I said “Sam – maybe next time, less kissing. That was pretty awkward for me”… “No problem mom… sorry I made you feel awkward.” So he matter of factly texted Emily and said “next time you come over we can’t kiss as much.” Problem solved.
Alright – we got past that awkward hurdle. So… what’s next? Stay tuned… its bound to get better. J